


Smooth

by thatsmistertoyou



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Phil, Established Relationship, Grinding, M/M, Making Out, they play that game 'too hot', top dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-04
Updated: 2013-12-04
Packaged: 2018-03-19 09:21:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3604833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsmistertoyou/pseuds/thatsmistertoyou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dan’s freshly waxed leg leaves him and Phil feeling extra playful.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smooth

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in two parts.  
> x  
> I had so much fun writing this, enjoy :D

If there was one thing YouTube had taught Dan, it was that he definitely did  _not_  want to be a girl. He felt he had a much better grasp on female struggles now, thanks to his girl YouTube friends. Between the periods and the not-comfy boobs and the waxing, he’d definitely stick to being male.

He had been pondering all of this since Louise left, absentmindedly stroking his now-smooth leg. Dan was just about to turn on the tv, having sufficiently sent his mental sympathy to girls everywhere, when he heard a key turn the lock in the front door.

 

“Phil?” Dan called to his boyfriend, a smile stretching across his face.

“Yeah?” Phil called back as he climbed the stairs to the lounge.

“Get in here! It’s important!” Dan replied impatiently. Phil’s steps quickened and moments later he arrived in the doorway, slightly out of breath.

“What? What is it?”

“I need you to do something. It’s crucial that you understand the weight of this moment.”

“Okay?” Phil responded, clearly confused. He took a seat beside Dan on the couch.

“I need you,” Dan began, shifting his sitting position to provide the optimal dramatic effect, “to feel my leg.” Dan jutted his leg out into Phil’s lap.

Phil cracked up laughing, his tongue poking out through his teeth. “Oh, yes, that’s incredibly important, Dan,” he teased, crossing his arms defiantly.

Dan raised his eyebrows as if to say, “Well, do it.” But Phil did not budge.

“What if I don’t want to?”

“C’mon, you want to. I feel like a baby beluga whale that’s been wrapped in silk.” Dan ran his hand across his skin enticingly.

“I love it when you talk dirty,” Phil giggled, his eyes trailing from Dan’s exposed skin all the way up to his eyes and back down again. Dan smirked.

“I can’t seem to recall a time when you didn’t want to touch me. Why so coy all of a sudden?”

“Because I like torturing you.”

“You think this is torturing me? Ha. I’m just fine. I’ll keep my smooth-ass skin to myself then.”

“Wanna bet?” Phil retorted, his eyebrows cocking upward as he bit his bottom lip.

“What’s  _that_  supposed to mean?”

“You think you can resist longer than me? Let’s play a game, then. First person to touch the other with their hands loses.”

“You’re so on.” Dan immediately retracted his leg, and slung the other one over Phil’s lap, straddling him. Dan could see Phil’s protest beginning to form on his lips. “Oh, no,” he interrupted, his hands clutching the back of the sofa, on either side of Phil’s head, to keep from moving them involuntarily. “You said hands only. This is fair game,” Dan smirked as he dug his hips downward, grinding against Phil and creating a tight, delicious friction.

“So is this, then,” Phil leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dan’s. He was aggressive at first, meshing their mouths together quickly, hoping that being forceful would prompt Dan to hold him for stability, but that worked against him. Phil found his own hands lifting from the couch several times, wanting to hold Dan closer, to press their chests together and increase the contact.

But, that would not do. So Phil sat on his hands and slowed his pace, letting his lips glide over Dan’s, lingering.

Phil’s lips worked away from Dan’s, down his jaw, and into the crook of his neck. He nipped at the soft skin gently. Dan shivered, prompting him to thrust his groin into Phil’s once more. “Fuck,” Dan moaned softly; Phil buckled his hips upward to maximize the effect. Phil kissed his way back up to Dan’s ear, hot breath tingling it as he whispered, “Surrender yet?”

“Not a chance,” Dan murmured, pulling his head back so Phil couldn’t reach it. He steeled himself by grasping the back of the couch tighter, and began grinding Phil with a harder, steadier rhythm than before. Dan bit his bottom lip and Phil damn near melted under the intensity of his stare.

Two can play at that game, Phil thought, and held Dan’s gaze.The reason it was called eye contact hit him like a ton of bricks. Dan might as well have been touching every surface of Phil’s body.

Dan finally broke their stare as he stopped moving his hips, leaned forward, and kissed Phil, taking Phil’s bottom lip between his teeth as he pulled back once more.

They had both broken a sweat, between the body heat and the tension and the anticipation. The resulting perspiration had sent Dan’s hair into hobbit mode, curling it at the ends and plastering it to his forehead.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Phil whispered, with no ulterior motive than to simply state the obvious.

“You’re perfect,” Dan replied with a smile. “I can’t - seem - to find - anything - wrong - here,” Dan declared, punctuating each pause with a kiss somewhere on Phil’s face, ending on his nose. Just as Dan was about to press his lips to Phil’s, he jutted back. Without thinking, Phil released his hands from their prison, grasped Dan’s face between them, and pulled him back down into the kiss. It took Phil several seconds to realize what he had done, and he drew away abruptly.

“Noooooo,” he whined, hanging his head in shame. Dan laughed and grabbed Phil’s wrists, pressing Phil’s hands to his chest and moving them around while he did a ridiculous victory dance.

“Oh yeah, feel me up, Phil,” he trilled, continuing to use Phil’s hands like puppets and placing them on his waxed leg. “Take it all in,” he said, releasing his grip and waiting for Phil’s response. Begrudgingly, Phil ran his palms along Dan’s soft skin. His jaw dropped open.

“Oh my god,” he murmured. “It’s like a thousand baby bums all lined up in a row.” Dan couldn’t help but laugh.

“I just seduced you into touching me and you compare me to  _baby bums?_  I give up,” he climbed off of Phil and sat beside him.

“Why give up now? You won,” Phil replied, placing his hand on Dan’s leg and casually stroking it.

“That’s right, I did. And what is my prize?”

"Anything you want," Phil murmured, his fingertips still lazily gliding over Dan’s thigh.

Dan smirked and gave Phil a lingering once-over that said it all. Without warning, he lunged and pushed Phil so he was laying down, letting himself fall on top of his giggling boyfriend.

"I’m not sure I know what you’re getting at," Phil teased, wrapping his arms around Dan’s waist while Dan positioned himself between his legs, one hand on either side of his head.

"I’ll give you a hint." Dan connected their lips and lowered himself onto his elbows, so they touched from lips to feet.

"I still… don’t know…" Phil muttered between kisses, smiling into them as he felt Dan do the same.

"You’re thick," Dan laughed.

"Yes I am, actually."

That took Dan a moment. “Oh, God,  _Phil_.” He cracked up, collapsing onto Phil’s chest. “I set myself up for that one. But wow, that was wildly inappropriate.”

Phil couldn’t stop laughing long enough to respond, he just squeezed Dan tighter to his chest while the hilarity subsided.

"You’re an absolute twit," Dan declared, placing a kiss on his nose.

"But you love me."

"For some reason."

"I can’t imagine why."

"Well, let’s see," Dan raised himself up on his hands again and ran his fingers through Phil’s mess of dark hair contemplatively. "I think it’s your hair, your toes, and everything in between."

A blush creeped up Phil’s neck. “Someone’s feeling sentimental today.”

"Yeah, well, thank that weird Veet stuff for that. It’s clearly seeped into my pores and made me sappy."

"Sure it has," Phil humored him, leaning forward to give him a peck on the lips as he sat up. "Tacos for dinner?"

"You read my mind."

Before they stood up, Phil gave Dan’s leg one last cursory sweep. Dan smirked, and Phil thought that maybe dinner could wait.

x

Dan’s silent agreement came in the form of him grabbing Phil’s wrist, halting his movement to get up. Phil reacted without hesitation, and sealed their mouths together once again.

 

Dan traced the outline of Phil’s bottom lip with his tongue, then took it between his teeth and gnawed gently. He rucked the hem of Phil’s shirt up to his armpits, and just as he was about to disconnect their lips to allow its removal, his stomach gave a rumble. It was so comically loud that Dan had to laugh, releasing Phil’s lip and shirt from his grasp.

“Maybe we should eat first?” Phil suggested, stifling a giggle.

“No,” Dan replied defiantly, removing Phil’s shirt in a motion so swift that Phil barely had time to lift his arms. “I want to-” Dan’s attempt at being seductive died in his throat as his stomach let out another growl.

Phil laughed outright this time, but then ceased. “I have a brilliant idea.”

“Do tell, before I explode in more ways than one,” Dan prompted, folding his arms over his abdomen.

Phil was much too caught up in his own cleverness to notice the innuendo, and continued: “What if instead of tacos, we had pizza. Like, we put the frozen pizza in the oven now, so when we’re done it’ll be ready?”

“I  _love_  you,” Dan declared, standing up and leading the way down the stairs. Dan made hasty work of the pizza box, ripping it apart and tearing the pizza out of the plastic. Phil knew Dan too well, evidently, and predicted that Dan would not have checked the temperature it needed to be baked at before throwing the box away. As if fulfilling the prophecy, Dan reached for the oven dial and then hesitated. Phil stood behind him and snaked his arms around Dan’s waist.

“180 degrees,” Phil mumbled into his shoulder before placing a kiss on it.

“Thanks,” Dan muttered, and set the temperature and timer.

“What’s your hurry? I’m not going anywhere,” Phil asked, squeezing him tighter.

“I know,” he replied, turning around and running his hands over Phil’s shoulders. “Just I’ve been ready since a certain someone came home.”

“Sorry if I sidetracked you with that silly game.”

“That wasn’t silly at all. That was  _hot_ _._  Just made me want you more. Only problem is that I haven’t had you yet.”

Phil smirked and quickly crossed to the counter opposite the oven. He hopped up onto it. “Have me, then,” he enticed, biting his lip.

“Here?” Dan questioned, situating himself between Phil’s legs.

“Well, depends on how badly you want me  _right now_ ,” Phil answered, making up for his loss at the teasing game.

“But the lube and con-” Dan was cut off by Phil removing the objects in question from his pocket.

“Way ahead of you. Grabbed ‘em on the way down.”

“Just when I thought you couldn’t get any hotter.”

“You’re the one with silky smooth skin here.”

“And you’re the one with the counter sex kink,” Dan smiled mischievously, gliding his hands to Phil’s zipper, but it wouldn’t budge. “What the -?” He gave it another tug to no avail.

“Life hack,” Phil admitted, undoing the button and releasing the keyring that held the zipper in place.

“For fuck’s sake,” Dan muttered, but couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He pushed Phil so he would lie back on the counter, and removed his jeans and boxers in one forceful tug, as well as his own clothes. Dan slicked up several of his fingers, and inserted them one at a time. Phil’s squeals of pleasure made all the buildup entirely worth it for both of them: Phil because he was achingly hard and needed release, and Dan because the sound was music to his ears. He leaned down and pressed his lips to Phil’s neck as his fingers continued to stretch Phil.

“Ready?” he asked, his lips grazing Phil’s collarbone.

 _“Yes,”_ Phil sighed in the most satisfying way. Dan sat up, made quick work of the condom, and pulled Phil by the hips so he was as close to the edge of the counter as possible. Only, a problem arose because of the fact that the counter was too high. Not even Dan’s stilt-legs could allow his hips to be the appropriate height. Phil would have to practically hang off the counter.

 _“Fucking bag of dicks,”_ Dan muttered in frustration.

“Something wrong?” Phil asked cautiously, propping himself up on his elbows.

“Counter’s too high. No wonder we’ve never done this,” Dan grumbled, his brow crinkled.

Phil laughed. “Don’t get so flustered, Dan. As sexy as it is, there’s no need.”

“Well I’m a boiling pot of sexual frustration at the moment, and I’m about ready to take you on the fucking floor at this point.”

Phil practically jumped off the counter, sprawled out on the cold linoleum, and declared, “My body is ready.”

Dan collapsed to the floor in his fit of giggles. He crawled on top of Phil and whispered “I love you, you idiot,” into the first of increasingly urgent kisses.

Phil reached down and stroked Dan’s length, and began pumping it, eliciting a long-overdue groan. Dan retreated back, pushed Phil’s thighs up for maximum penetration, and eased into Phil with exquisite slowness. With all the anticipation, Dan thought he might come then and there, but was determined to last.

Phil moaned and dug his fingers into Dan’s back with increasing force as Dan picked up speed, gripping Phil’s hips for stability. His body rocked in time with Dan’s as Dan thrusted, creating a sticky friction with the floor. He was going to have red marks covering the whole back of his body, but couldn’t bring himself to care. He must have been marking Dan’s back up just as badly: he dragged his stubby fingernails across the smooth plane repeatedly, as if it were the only thing keeping Dan going.

“Shit, I’m close already, Phil,” Dan told him through gritted teeth.

“Me too,” Phil replied breathlessly. Dan adjusted his angle  _just_ so, and Phil was done for. Dan’s name sounded so much better when Phil said it; especially when he did so over and over in various stages of satisfaction, from climax to contentment.

Dan reached his release, and rode through his orgasm with sporadic thrusts as the long-awaited pleasure washed over him. He pulled out and collapsed onto Phil’s chest. Automatically, Phil wrapped his arms around Dan and ran his fingers through his hair.

“I think that might have been a new record,” Phil mused.

“Hey, I was ready to go-”

“Dan,” he interjected, “I didn’t mean it like that. Actually, it’s nice to know we can do it on a time crunch.”

Dan cocked his eyebrows upward and nodded appreciatively. “Indeed. Now can we get off the bloody floor and eat pizza while naked, like civilized people?”

The timer dinged, as if on cue. “Didn’t even plan that,” Dan said, bemused, as he helped Phil up with him. Phil watched him hunch over the oven to check on the pizza, and couldn’t help but notice the marks he had left in his wake.

“I think it’s done,” Dan proclaimed, poised to remove it from the oven. He hesitated. “Can you throw me my boxers?”

“Sure,” Phil tossed them to him, and Dan put them back on.

“I just had a horrible vision of singeing my dick off on the over door or something, and I don’t want to be on 1000 ways to die.”

Phil struggled to maintain enough composure from his laughing fit to put his own pants on while Dan removed the pizza and set it out to cool.

“I’m glad my fears amuse you,” Dan quipped sarcastically.

“Funnily enough, they do. Along with pretty much everything else you do.”

“Guess all I am to you is comic relief, then.”

“Pretty much.”

“Good to know.”

Phil grabbed Dan’s hand and laced their fingers together. “Really, though. I like that we can just fool around and laugh about silly mishaps.”

“Me too,” Dan agreed with a smile.

“I love you a lot.”

“I love you more than I love pizza.”

“Whoa there, I don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of commitment.”

“Too bad, ‘cause I’m not going anywhere.”

“I can live with that,” Phil replied with a quick peck on Dan’s cheek. “Ready to burn our mouths ‘cause we can’t wait any longer for food?”

“So ready.”

“My body is ready.”

And with that, they busted out into another laughing fit.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked this fic, please consider leaving a comment or kudos. You can also [reblog it here](http://thatsmistertoyou.tumblr.com/post/68963528522/smooth) or come [say hi](http://thatsmistertoyou.tumblr.com/mail) on tumblr. Thank you for reading <3


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